Serving the Small

I told my husband I wanted to run away this morning. Run away from all of it. My entire world revolves around children. I'm a mom of 3 children (8, 5, and 1), a reading teacher to 64 elementary aged children, and a Sunday school teacher to 10 kindergarten and 1st grade children. As we rode that familiar drive to church I pulled out the day's lesson with weary tears in my eyes and said, "There's not a single moment of my life that I am not with children." My middle child had just had a meltdown because her coat was not as "fashionable" as her sister's. Whoever wrote the song Easy 
 Like a Sunday Morning never had to get kids ready for church. That's all I'm saying.

I put a smile on my tired face as we entered the church doors and found rest in the pew-not our usual one because we were 15 minutes late. Today we sat three pews closer and I'm pretty sure God put my near-sided eyes closer to the front for a reason.

The preacher began to speak on discipleship, something that I am familiar with. I've been to a conference, currently reading a book on discipling, and our church mission statement is "Making Disciples That make a Difference". But today, in that seat three pews closer, I heard a whole new message. God spoke the word small to me, over and over.

My word this year is freedom. And for many reasons it is freedom from the complicated. Freedom from the things that take my focus off Christ. I'm currently bouncing between two books, because I just couldn't decide which to read first. I'm reading Simple Church and Simply Tuesday. Obviously, I'm craving simplicity. I'm desiring exactly what God wants in all of our lives. Simplicity. In simplicity, I continue to hear small.

During the sermon today, God spoke small over me again and again. He had to sit me three pews closer to finally get what He has been trying to tell me. I didn't get to hug my preacher's neck today, but I will soon. He was the vessel that this hard head needed. I have talked with my husband about a career change, I have thought about telling the children's director I need a break, and I actually said aloud today that I want to run away. And then God whispered small. As the preacher spoke on discipling, God whispered small. I am discipling the small. I am serving the small. It is a job that only those that are specifically called can do. Because, people, it is hard. It is hard to be a mama. You never get a break (well occasionally, thanks grandparents). It is hard to be a teacher. You have so many more responsibilities than those faces you are teaching. It is hard to be a Sunday school teacher because sometimes you just want to be poured into a little, instead of always pouring out.

But God made me for the small.  And if you're any of the above, He made you for the small, too. To Father we are small. So very small. Despite our smallness, He made himself flesh and came to pour into our lives. He ultimately gave His great life for our small ones. He knew we were worth it. And the 77 small ones in my life are worth it.

Today my 'job' changed. Right there at the altar, when I laid down my selfish thoughts and picked up the cross I bear. I begged God to forgive me and promised Him I would not be running away from my calling to serve the small. My preacher reminded us, "Serving is when there is nothing to gain for ourselves. Serve when nobody knows what we are doing." My job as mama,  public school teacher, and Sunday school teacher sometimes goes unnoticed. But, God always notices. He knows that I'm serving His small children. My job changed today from a job to worship. From a job to disciplining. From a job to serving.

 And as I walked away from the altar, bearing my cross, He promised me rest to not grow weary.
 He gave me a glimpse of the harvest today. I'm not losing heart.
I'm serving the small.