What I Learned from Clicking Publish

 That publish button is torture. Maybe for actual writers and authors, it appears more like a "hallelujah" button. I see authors on Instagram post a celebratory pic of their final page. For me, though, it looks different. You see, I'm not 100 percent confident in myself as a writer, or someone that is even worthy to have a little corner spot on the internet. And I know for sure your time is precious, so thank you for stopping by.

My soul aches for me to carve out time and see words magically chase that little blinking line. I’ve tried the whole writing just to write thing. It didn’t work. Now, it’s only when God specifically places it on my heart. I don’t have to worry with deadlines or publishing something that I just can’t get right. For me it’s an outlet, a way to express how I’m feeling and occasionally God presses on my heart that another child of His is feeling the same way. So I muster up that little bit of confidence, cover my eyes like an anxious child on a roller coaster, and hit publish. And then I go back and forth whether I should have put myself out there like that. I wonder what people might think of me or if they judge my way with words. Then I think about the Father. He knew people would reject Him even before He became flesh. He knew they would mock Him. He knew they would ultimately really torture Him and take His life, or so they thought. He still came. He still showed up. 

I know I’m not going to transform the world. I’ll never take the internet by storm. But, I learned something from hitting publish the other day. God doesn't want me to save the world through a blog post. He's already saved it. I believe He wants us to share His love and that comes in many forms. My little free baby blog reached numbers I never expected. It’s not something I ever thought would happen and really it wasn’t something I ever wished for. I pray each of those views gave a glimpse of the Father's love and purpose for each of our lives. As I’ve had time to reflect on my ‘why’ behind clicking publish and sharing a very vulnerable side of me, I’ve taken away a few thoughts I’d love to share with you.

We need to be more real with one another. In that precious family picture on the cover of my last blog post, my little boy was getting ready to bite the fire out of my finger. I shared another picture of my new “Jesus chair” the other day on Instagram. It looked so clean and pristine. Just 10 feet away, my kitchen looked like an army of 1,000 soldiers had just eaten breakfast. Let’s get real with one another. That smile I walked into church with last Sunday was fighting back so many weary tears.

 We need to stop worrying about what people think. Just stop. I’m speaking to myself here. Who cares if someone clicks my post and doesn’t think I’m Shakespeare? I’m not. That’s ok. Who cares if what I have to say about Jesus offends someone? I’d rather have the world turn against me than to become it.I had several people message me saying they wished they could have the courage to write how they were feeling and share it. Do it! He will give you the words to say. Seriously.

   We need to encourage one another. I do not count my worth on worldly praises, but doesn’t it feel good to know you’ve touched someone’s life? I’m becoming more aware of taking a few moments to acknowledge the good in people. Those small moments are really big ones to those you are encouraging. Your comments were so comforting and nourishing! Thank you. 

So there's that. It's what I learned from facing a recurring fear of mine, that dreaded publish button. Thank you for your encouragement. We came together as a little community that day, realizing the small serving we are doing, whether it's at home, school, or church, is actually quite big.