You're trying to scroll through social media during a small pocket of your day. Your mind still cannot escape the constant filing list of to-do's during this so called, 'down time'. You stumble across this post as the words reach out and grab hold of that tense place in you neck, "Dear Stressed-Out Mama". That little voice silently whispers, this one is for you. For a moment, you're a little thankful. Someone else does not have their life all together either. After all, you have already silently bullied yourself with every polished picture, handmade craft, and freshly baked cupcake for their child's special treat for school. That $10 grocery store cookie cake flashes before your eyes, and you try to just shrug it off. You'll do better next time. Maybe.
You look through a picture-perfect window into other mamas' lives and secretly envy them. You compare their pictures to your real-life, as you look past the smiling children into the spotless home. While my husband and girls were carving our pumpkin, just a few days before Halloween, I played the role of photographer. Isn't that always the case? Mamas never make the pictures. We need to change that! There will be nothing to show of our existence. Anyhow, I snapped one picture, looked at it, and immediately deleted it. Paper towels and left overs from dinner were piled up beside the pumpkin. I tidied up and snapped a better, more 'picture perfect' picture. I have fallen victim to the need for perfect illusion.
I went to the fall festival at the school a few nights ago. I counted four kids on the bounce houses, in just a matter of a few minutes, with mismatched socks. A slight feeling of relief rushed through my stressed soul. That's four mamas that have a slight laundry problem, like me. I bet those mismatched socks were cropped out of the pictures, if they decided to post any. At least that's what I would have done. Again, why do I need to cover-up my imperfectness? Why have I based my worth on material things?
When I decided to create this blog, I had many mixed emotions. First, it was an outlet for me to escape my everyday mama and teacher mode and just write and reflect, for me. For my sanity. I enjoy reading blog posts from other Christian women to lift me up and inspire me. It was my hope to do that for others. I was a little reluctant because I thought no one would ever read it. That was the devil trying to stop me in my tracks. Trying to stop this mama and teacher from spreading a little of Christ's joy. And the thought crossed my mind that people may think I have it all together. That I am the perfect Christian, wife, mother, teacher, and yet I still have time to sit down and write. And more importantly, have the courage to click 'publish' for the world to read, and possibly judge.
The truth is, I am one stressed-out mama. Like you, I have too many things on my never-ending to-do list. And when I look at that mile-long list to try to mark off something, I realize it must all be done. Some mornings I wake up too late to read my devotion and Bible, I argue with my husband, and I snap at my children. The interesting thing is, on the days my morning starts out like that, all the bad things listed above follow. I'm overwhelmed and more often than not I am fighting back tears on my drive to work. I want to be the perfect Christian, the home-making wife, the crafty mama, the creative teacher, the listening friend, and I can't seem to balance all those things and do them to perfection.
I have to remind myself often that God does not expect perfection from us. Our broken world has created this illusion of perfection. When we expect that perfection from ourselves, that is when the stress begins to consume us. We end up doing nothing well because we have so many things we are trying to be perfect at. And, if you're like me, I have been putting too much focus on perfecting things that are not directly glorifying God's Kingdom. As I reflect on how to end this vicious cycle, I am drawn to the scripture and reminded of where our source of strength comes from. I know Jesus died for me because I am imperfect. He knew that before I even existed. He knew I would fail. And I need to be OK with that. Stressed-out mamas, we have been relying on our own strength. The devil has created this illusion of perfection and distracts our focus from Christ to the tidiest house, after school activities, and those matching socks. The bad guy knows how to get to us, by busying up our lives so much that we have made ourselves miserable.
Here are a few verses that remind me of the importance of relying on God for my strength, loving my family, and not striving to have that 'picture perfect' life-
- Do not rely on your own strength, stressed-out mama. Submit to God and resist the Devil. Resist comparing your worth on things of this world that influence you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 tells us, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
- When we lean on our Lord and be consumed in Him, we will prosper, without Him we will fail- John 15:5- "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
- When we serve Christ, our husbands, and our children, in that order, we will reap a beautiful harvest. Continue to do good, mama. And know that your good is enough. Galations 6:9- And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (I keep this one by my computer at work.)
Serve Christ, love your husband, care for your children, listen to your friend, and know that you do not have to be perfect at any of it. Work on that to-do list, as needed, but do not let that list or the illusion of perfection consume you. Be consumed in Christ. The one that accepts your failures and imperfection. And have joy in knowing you are His.
With love,
Your sister in Christ
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