While I Was Counting Down the Days to Summer

​While I was counting down the days to summer, she was wondering where she would be. While I was counting down the days to summer, she was hoping for just a few more. And on those final days of counting, I had to say goodbye. In that moment, I truly realized why she was placed in my classroom on February 16th. 

​For privacy purposes, I will not share her given name. I will refer to her as Joy, because that is exactly what defines her. You see, happiness and joy are completely different. Happiness is short term, fleeting, because of something that fulfills us momentarily. Joy can be found only in Christ, in the happiest of times and the saddest of times. And I will always have Joy in my heart, because I am His and I know He places people in my life for a specific purpose, to bring Him all the honor and glory. 

​Joy joined us in February. I talked with her former teacher the evening before she arrived. With every word, my heart strings pulled and tears streamed. In my years of teaching, I have never had a child with a background quite like Joy’s. One line continued to repeat continuously in my mind after my conversation with her teacher, “In the four months she was with us, she only smiled about 5 times, if that.” I was determined to get this child to smile for me, but I knew that was no easy task. She had to build trust with me and she had to grow to love me. That night I prayed that I could be everything she needed in the 7 hours she was with me each day. I prayed that the girls in my classroom would gravitate to her and be the positive influence she needed. 

​Joy arrived on the first day, painfully shy. I talked with her and told her all about me, my family, and a few hobbies I enjoy. Each child introduced themselves and wrote notes to her welcoming her to our classroom family. At the end of the first day, she gave me a one-arm hug. I would have liked two, but boy was I happy! On the second day, we got several smiles. By the end of the week, she let out a little giggle that sent our entire class into belly laughs. That was a good day. 

​We had lots of great days in our room with Joy. There were some tough ones, too. And then there was this one really, really tough day when I realized just how great of a struggle she was going through. God has to give you the tough, sometimes. In that tough, you see Him. And you share His glory. That time was a tough one. But, just as He promised, He was there. And all His servants shined then, too. He got the glory in that tough. As promised, I found the Joy. 

​The day came when I learned she would be leaving and would not return to our class. I didn’t let her know this, but that afternoon I gave her the biggest hug and “I love you” that I could. I cried the entire way home, pleading with God for her to stay a little longer. I haven’t given her all the love and memories that I need to. I’m not done, yet, Father. I talked with my grade level about it being her last day, sharing my utter disappointment and sadness that she would not be back. The following morning after praying in my car for Joy, my students, and the day ahead, I walked in with my brave face and before I could get to my classroom, my coworker said, “Guess who is here today? Joy!” Oh the pure JOY I felt when I saw her precious face. 

​She was with us until the last full day of school. I got the call that she was leaving and could not get myself pulled together. As I saw each of her friends giving her the biggest bear hugs, I realized that it wasn’t about her needing me after all. I needed Joy. I had lost my passion in teaching and was honestly pleading with my husband for me to explore other options. I was so overwhelmed with all the paper work, standards, testing, and an over flowing to-do list,  I totally lost touch with the true purpose that God gave me,  to be His light in a place that because of modern day laws, He could not truly shine. It took nearly 4 months of her loving me, her smile, her giggles, her good days and bad, for me to realize that I needed her so much more than she needed me. 

      Joy unveiled my passion again. She showed me that while the other 'stuff' that comes along with teaching is important, nothing compares to the fulfillment of loving on a kid while teaching them the curriculum. Most importantly, she opened my eyes to the tough. Kids in our classes today are living in tough times. Teachers have a much greater task than just the curriculum. I get caught up on floating along Easy Street when things are going smoothly, not stopping nearly enough to honor the one who gave me this life and realize just how many are struggling around me.

     On our last day with Joy, a few girls sat around the table, crafting. As I was working on my stack of end-of -the-year tasks, I overheard them singing in unison, "Jesus Loves Me".

 

Oh my heart, be still, yes, He does love us.

 

 And I let those girls sing on, faithfully and assuredly.

 

 He loves us.

      As we enjoy the goodness that summertime brings, let's not forget the greatness of our Father that renews His blessings each summer sunrise. And if you remember, say a prayer for Joy, I can only hope her summer is filled with the goodness we are soaking in.